Sunday, June 17, 2018

FTSD - Oops All WTF! Edition

Support Bigglesworth Labs with a permanent 10% off coupon: DONG 

Oops All WTF!

Nothing says bad-ass like a tiger with a split tongue... On your crotch.

Ever needed a handy way to make your flashlight into a lantern while camping?  How about something to drink out of too?  Look no further than the Diffuser Cup.  Surely you would trust something from FastTech to drink out of right?

Where do I even start with this... "Camera Pixels 30W" is probably the most hilarious thing about this, not even counting the HORRIBLE scaling in every picture.  If you didn't look at the measurements, you would think this phone must be at least a foot long.  Don't even get me started on the fact that its got a built in "28800 mah" battery bank so you can charge your iPhone... Seriously that's what they show using it for in the pictures.  And it has a built in dual LED flashlight.  The fact that the screen isn't even wide enough to show a whole phone number as you're dialing it is icing on the cake.

It's over $100, and its "Prefect for Office,Party, Wedding!"  Also great for camping and hiking?  I mean I don't know about you, but lugging around a small keg full of nitrogen brewed cold "coffe" doesn't sound fun to me.

"Ingredients: Snail Secretion"  Okay what the actual fuck.  Probably not safe for vaping, but don't take my word for it.

For when you really need to beat your meat.

This just seems so awkward, but probably more effective than a Maglite® at beating someones ass.  5 modes and it runs on an 18650 or 3 AAA batteries.

See above.  This is the tacticool version though.  Surprised they didn't slap some picatinny rails on this bad boy.  I would be okay with M-LOK as well.

While I can't advocate buying strange seeds from China and planting them in your country, this was too good to pass up.

Because fuck your pansy, AA battery using headlamp.  5 LEDs, Dual 18650, 15000 lumen, 500m range FUCK ZONE HEAD LAMP.

I guess if you're going to really overdo a simple single use item, you might as well go all out.  Battery and charging indicator, micro USB charging, over-discharge protection, short circuit protection, wind proof, 10s auto-off, and on the plus side, if you turn it around, I can think of a few places it might fit.

Now I know what you're thinking "But Dong, this just an ice cube tray?"  Yeah but it makes 6" long crocodile ice cubes.  Look at the pictures of the ice in a glass FT has.  No way someone isn't holding that shit up so it doesn't fall over.

It just wouldn't be the FTSD without atleast 1 vaping item.  Looks pretty sweet huh?  It's cool that it comes with a beauty ring... Except that's the airflow control.  So you either vape it wide open, or you get to put this ridiculous ring with it.

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